THE LIMITS WE PLACE … ON OURSELVES

In a moment of synchronicity (those looking for a great read on the power of synchronicity pick up the book written by Joseph Jaworski titled “Synchronicity: The Inner Path of Leadership”) a dear friend challenges me to share about ‘inner limits’; then as if on cue, two books I’m reading talk about “transcending my limiting beliefs.” Still resisting I struggle for two days on what to write because I’m not convinced the topic has ‘legs’ for you. Then in one more attempt to get inspired by the topic, I found myself at the gym watching ESPN (while on the elliptical) when a featured story (Link: ESPN "Carry On" Story) appears that tugs at my inner being. I immediately connect with the story that needs to be explored within myself, and hopefully will resonate with you as well!! As always, I hope this story and reflection touches, motivates, inspires and stirs you to embrace your greatest vision of yourself in this moment, throughout your week and beyond (that is the stated goal of this weekly Mojo)!

Two young adults from Akron, Ohio connect senior year in high school. One is legally blind and the other is an amputee (both legs severed just below the hip from a train accident when he was 11), both are high school wrestlers. The legally blind person (Dartanyon Crockett) carries the amputee (Leroy Sutton) on his shoulders to and from the gym, on the bus, to class; while the other challenges, encourages, supports and is the eyes for the other. If the physical impairments are not enough, both boys have significant challenges in every area of their lives … when is the last time you were forced to scavenge for food to eat, or lift yourself by your hands (with no legs) to get up a flight of stairs in your own home? When is the last time you needed the assistance of a computer to see what was on a blackboard so you could pass a class (Dartanyon sees only shadows from 3 feet away)? Both are bound together by a common purpose … ‘to be the best person possible regardless of other people’s perception, pity, doubts, judgments, or limitations.’

Consider for a moment the grueling training that wrestling involves for people with no physical challenges (take it from someone who has trained most of his life – there are few sports that compare in difficulty and sacrifice); but for two with severe handicaps critical in a competitive sport is almost impossible to fathom for most of us. Through the bond of friendship and perseverance, they refuse to see any limits to what they are able to achieve and their stated goal - both seek to accomplish their greatest challenge together arm in arm … to walk down the graduation aisle together! Ah, not what you expected, especially when both are accomplished athletes (Dartanyon goes 26-3 and is league champion; while Leroy wrestles multiple weight classes and wins 9 matches). Through perseverance with no tolerance for pity or succumbing to their limitations, both are wildly successful on and off the mat – both graduated from a High School that graduates less than 40% of its students. Suddenly in touch with my humble journey, I am aware that my daily challenges pale in comparison; and so why is it that I tolerate the limitations that I place on myself?

Most of us have beliefs that limit our success – whether they are beliefs about our own capabilities, or thoughts on what it takes to succeed, how to relate to other people or just how to move from one plateau in our life to another. Moving past these limiting beliefs is the critical first step toward true success that is both personally freeing and inspirational to all those who cross your path.

Sometimes refusing to even consider any form of limitations or rationalizations proves successful as we power through difficult moments focused on our ultimate goal. Other times the moment gets the best of us and we are left with the internal dialogue that repeats itself like a mantra. We repeat limiting messages in the form of an internal dialogue, a movie script played out within ourselves that chains us to the very thing we wish to avoid.

We all carry the seeds of these story lines that come from a life-time of programming starting from well meaning parents, teachers, grandparents and other adult role models. Then as we get older we carry these story lines introduced from other people, retold hundreds of times in the confines of our own mind, and then reinforced in our lived experience personally or in others people’s failures. As I listen to ESPN’s featured story “Carry On” I begin to drudge up my own story lines:

· Success only comes through hard work

· Money doesn’t grow on trees

· There is always room for improvement

· There is always someone more intelligent and more skilled

· You are truly successful if when you die you have two real friends

· True wealth is for those other people, not me

· I’m not smart enough

· I only really perform when there is chaos swirling around me

· I’m not lucky enough to be successful

· I’m getting to old

· I’m fat

· Children should be seen and not heard

· Men don’t cry or show any kind of emotion

· If something wrong is going to happen it will happen to me

· Nothing I do is ever successful

· I can’t be successful unless I out work everyone else

· I’m not (smart, attractive, rich, old, or young) enough

· If I only, had this or that, I would be happy, successful or financial independent, etc.

Give yourself a moment and ask what are the stories or messages that you tell yourself throughout the day that may limit or hold you back? List them if necessary. Common on … for just a moment own up to your internal dialogues that limit or put yourself in a “box” that has defined you at some point in your life. Then in this moment choose another story ….

What if … we begin to tell ourselves another story ... one that begins with: “I can do this. I am capable of getting exactly what I want. Other people have accomplished this so can I. If I don’t have the answer or the knowledge, then there is someone close to me that can help me find the answer or can teach me.” THE TRUTH IS THERE ARE NO LIMITATIONS TO THE HUMAN SPIRIT TO STRIVE AND TO SUCCEED. Commit to rewriting your stories by changing the internal language that you use – turnaround the limiting message or dialogue by replacing it with a more loving, affirming and truthful statement that supports and enriches your life. Example: Negative message: “I can’t do anything right, so why even try?” Replacement message: “I can do many things right, and each time I try something new, I learn, grow and get better.”

“Your subconscious mind does not argue with you. It accepts what your conscious mind decrees. If you say, ‘I can’t afford it,’ your subconscious mind works to make it true. Select a better thought. Decree, ‘I’ll buy it. I accept it in my mind.’” Dr. Joseph Murphy

The challenge in this Mojo was really two fold … the first was to challenge each of us to consider our own limiting stories or messages, and how they hold us back from experiencing our greatest vision of ourselves. The second underlying purpose, as important as the first, is to be aware (be the ‘observer observing’) of how these limiting thoughts, words and actions affect everyone who crosses our path. Take a moment today and this week to be more aware of how your thoughts and words affect others, and change the message so that you AND others will be lifted up, affirmed, inspired, enriched and given the gift of your true self!

I hope you enjoyed the read and most of all you make it a GREAT day and week!! If you wish to read all the other Monday Morning Mojos written for you, then visit: http://mondaymojo.blogspot.com. As always, I welcome and encourage your feedback and your reflections (please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me). If I can be of service to you or your loved ones, please just let me know. And thank you for your continued support and inspiration … each of you are a cherished gift that enriches my life in ways you will never understand … Thank you!! Jim Peys