INTERESTING … OR … INTERESTED …

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who in the moment was truly interesting?  If you are like most, then you probably were captivated with what they said, how intelligent they seemed, or their story telling ability, etc.  We all love being around ‘interesting’ people at least for a moment.  If you think of people like that ask yourself, how often do you develop a REAL relationship with that person?  Why is that?

Let me help you out … contrast that experience with another person who seems to take a genuine interest in you and what is important to you.  I would venture that it is a noticeably different experience.  Ultimately, we develop relationships with people who take a genuine interest in us.  So at this moment you might be asking yourself … so what … nothing new in that … I agree.  But sometimes the most sage advice is but a repackaging of an established truism.  I would rather be ‘interested’ than ‘interesting’, if my desire is to engage in a conversation and develop a relationship with someone (to bring it down to a business level – no sale until you become ‘interested’ NOT ‘interesting’).

I struggle, at times, with balancing these concepts.  Recently a friend reminded me of this when I was on one of my verbose tangents (no surprise there eh).  Since that gentle nudge, I have been reminding myself to pay attention to the difference.  Maybe someday it will be second nature for me, until then I’m good with my friends ‘busting’ me every once and while.   

But for everyone else, why even bother wasting time and space blogging about this simple concept.  Well for the past several weeks I have been reviewing blogs, websites, advertising, newsletters, web posts, Facebook, Tweets, etc., and the one constant principle seems to be a focus on being ‘interesting’ rather than ‘interested’.  The greatest violator of this basic principle seems to be realtors – they have cornered the market on being ‘interesting’ (although for some that is even a stretch).  If you look close enough it quickly bleeds through everything we put out in the market whether in writing or verbal communications.

Another friend sent me a link to an author and public speaker who is writing a book (scheduled for publication in 2010) on Leadership.  He is writing his book in a collaborative fashion (interesting development in writing – thanks to the Internet and blogs) – meaning as he writes a chapter he posts it on his blog and refines the chapter based upon reader feedback and comments.  While reading Chapter 2, the author touches upon a similar theme.  So I thought it might be interesting (here I go) to share his comments with you.

John Maxwell on Leadership:

“When I began my career as a minister, I was not about others. When I counseled people who were experiencing difficulties, my attitude was, “Hurry up and finish telling me your problem so I can give you my solution.” When I was leading any kind of initiative, I constantly asked myself, “How can I get people to buy into my vision so that they’ll help me with my dreams?” When I spoke to an audience, I was focused on myself and not them. I lived for positive feedback. And my goal was always to be impressive. Much of what I did was all about me, yet I still wasn’t succeeding.

When I was twenty-nine years old, my dad invited me and my brother-in-law, Steve Throckmorton, to attend a Success Seminar in Dayton, Ohio, where I heard a speaker who understood how to connect with people. I sat there mesmerized.

I remember thinking, This is someone who understands success. I like him. But there’s more to it than that—he really understands me. He knows what I believe. He understands what I’m thinking. He knows what I feel. He can help me. I would love to be his friend. I already feel like he’s my friend.

That speaker was Zig Ziglar. And that day he said something that changed my life: “If you will first help people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.” Finally, I understood what had been missing from my own communication—and from my interaction with other people. I saw how selfish and self-centered I’d been. I realized that I was trying to get ahead by correcting others when I should have been trying to connect with others.

What I learned was that connecting is never about me. It’s about the person with whom I’m communicating. Similarly, when you are trying to connect with people, it’s not about you—it’s about them. If you want to connect with others, you have to get over yourself. You have to change the focus from inward to outward, off of yourself and onto others.

And I know you can do this, because I did! You can connect with others if you’re willing to get off your own agenda, think about others, and try to understand who they are and what they want. If you’re willing to learn how to connect, you will be amazed at the doors that will open to you and the people you will be able to work with. All you have to do is keep reminding yourself that connecting is all about others.”

Whether you are an attorney, an accountant, mechanic, contractor, realtor or a financial advisor we all need to communicate effectively to engage in any type of relationship – whether that relationship is personal or professional in nature.  How we navigate building rapport with people and demonstrate genuine ‘interest’ in another person will ultimately drive that relationship.  So how are you choosing to be ‘interested’ today with the people in your life?  Or are you going to be more like me sometimes, and put your head down and head to your office as you close the door to move through your day?

I hope you enjoyed the reflection, and take the time to consider how these questions may present other opportunities for you today.  Most importantly, I hope you make it a GREAT day and week!!  If you wish to read all the other Monday Morning Mojos written for you, then visit: http://mondaymojo.blogspot.com.  As always, I welcome and encourage your feedback and your reflections (please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me).  If I can be of service to you or your friends, please let me know or visit us at http://www.coastalcommunityhomes.com.  And, thank you for your continued support and inspiration … each of you are a cherished gift that enriches my life in ways you will never understand … Thank you!!  Jim Peys

THE LANGHAM EXPERIENCE …

This past weekend I was in Boston for a quick get away. Checking into the Langham Hotel, I had a series of experiences that struck me as uniquely different while being indicative of the random ideas that have been playing internally. The bags were taken to our room independent of check-in, and as I opened the door the bellman greeted us with a smile while placing the oversized bags (dramatically over packed) neatly in the room. As he stepped back, he gracefully and naturally built rapport with each of us. After experiencing a few laughs and interesting dialogue (even in two languages), he then asked a few non-intrusive questions about our visit and guided us in the right direction for answers. He then pointed out a few features of the room, location of all the amenities, and how to use the various items in the room. He left by giving us his business card and offering his help with a simple call. Later in the day on our way to dinner, he greeted us by name and a warm smile. Small and seemly insignificant details created a unique experience that other hotels have yet to create in over twenty years of extensive domestic and international travel.

This experience is at the heart of this week’s Monday Morning Mojo – how do you/we create a unique and memorable experience with every business and personal intersection with people? What is my/your core vision about the business of ‘doing’ business? What is the premise from which I/you operate as both a consumer/client/customer and as a business professional? Let’s face it we all have had similar customer service experiences; but the tragedy is that each time we do, instead of being the ‘norm’ it continually stands out as the ‘exception.’ Each one of these isolated experiences becomes noteworthy, and we are more than willing to brag about the experience to anyone willing to listen. As a result these individuals and companies profit from providing an experience similar or better in depth that enriches the lives of all people who intersect their path. The challenge is to continually provide this experience as you become busier or grow as an organization. Most of us start the journey with similar visions or commitments; but systemizing this vision so that it is consistently repeatable as we grow, diversify or achieve some level of success has proven difficult at best and impossible for most.

While these thoughts are fragmented and incomplete, I continue to connect a series of data points that just seem to replay in my mind. As of this morning the integration of these ideas are wholly incomplete; however, I recognize that they will in some way fundamentally shift how I think and operate my business. In the meantime I invite, nay, challenge you to think about how they might transform your professional experience.

The reflection and journey for us all is how these concepts might redefine your experience and business so that each ‘client or customer’ intersection is truly special and unique (defined by the only one who matters – your customer, client, or partner)? Each of us will have different insights and reactions to these random thoughts (while a few are easily connected; others may require a paradigm shift ergo opportunity to renew and grow – and that ultimately is the invitation with these Monday Morning Mojos). A sampling of my recent thoughts are:

· The fact that our world is fundamentally changing in every moment and in every second at a faster rate than is comprehendible – our last thought is obsolete in the next breath from a world shrinking in size. Any doubts or resistance to this first premise then consider viewing the following video “Did You Know 3.0”.

· We are living through a transformation in how the ‘business of business’ is being transacted at every level – the engine for this evolutionary change is the Internet. The Internet is a conduit for the liberation of the ‘customer’ and ‘client’ from the grips of the centralistic corporate mindset that looks to push out all competition and manipulate “customer” driven innovation – the who, how, where, revenue opportunities (or just pass through services and products), value driven propositions, and sustainable markets are being redefined in quantum leaps. Just a few general facts … the average person is thought to know 250 people; there are allegedly six degrees of separation between every person on the planet; mass marketing is the method to reach critical mass; that individuals or businesses can control and manipulate information and people long term to its personal or corporate benefit; competition is the gateway to success (or put differently those people/companies who are better at competing will prevail over those less able); and that business is a two dimensional model. I suggest that the above thoughts are outdated and archaic business practices that have lead to the systematic failure of businesses across multiple market niches.

· Jeff Jarvis in his book “What Would Google Do?” states that: “Mass markets” are being replaced with the concept of “mass of niches.” Wholesale markets are but “conversations” – the key skill in any organization today is NOT “marketing” but “conversing.” Our economy is shifting from competition (ultimately based upon the notion of “scarcity”) to one of collaboration (one based upon the notion of abundance and strategic partnerships organically formed to solve a problem or customer driven service or product). Customers are now in charge – they are heard around the globe and have an immediate impact on large multinational conglomerates in an instant – a click away from success or failure. The most successful enterprises are networks (distributed networks, partnerships and platforms vs. centralized organizations) that extract as little value as possible so they can grow as big as possible. These networks are essentially platforms to coordinate and disseminate information, services and products. “Owning pipelines, people, products or intellectual property is no longer the key to success but openness is the key” – total transparency!

· The very definition of “who the customer is” has fundamentally changed – the client or customer is NOT just the person who is buying or selling BUT every touch point along the process – including but not limited to manufacturers, service providers, consultants, independent contractors, employees, agents, buyers, sellers, strategic partners, etc. Every person, every company, every provider of services is now your customer.

· Think about how profound a shift it is that each of us are but ONE click away from over 85% of every buyer and seller of any product or service in this country and potentially on the planet. What that really suggests is that we are no longer six degrees of separation from every person on the planet; instead we are but one click away from every person on this planet … one blog conversation or Tweet from every person on this planet. Our actions, good or bad, don’t potentially touch ten, twenty or 250 people (number of people a person may know), but an infinite number of people in an instant. We have the ability to create, alter, redefine and transform experiences, services, products and companies with one click of the mouse by reaching instant critical mass.

· The vision promoted successfully by the fastest growth company in the history of business, Google, is that showing up where your “customer” is and giving them exactly what they want, when they want it and how they want it is the only way. This premise single-handedly shifts most old-line brick and mortar companies that grew from the thought that they know what is ultimately best for their customer no longer applies – it arguably makes them irrelevant.

· Google’s “Ten things found to be true” (contained on Google’s Corporate Information page) vision statement challenges the very assumption that most businesses have been built around and the mindset of many entrepreneurs who hold their “cards close to their vest.” Google’s truths hold that: “1) Focus on the user and all else will follow; 2) It’s best to do one thing really, really well; 3) Fast is better than slow (customer’s deserve immediate gratification); 4) Democracy on the web works; 5) You don’t need to be at your desk to need an answer; 6) You can make money without doing evil; 7) There’s always more information out there; 8) The need for information crosses all borders; 9) You can be serious without a suit; and 10) Great just isn’t good enough.”

Each one of these concepts or thoughts forms a different paradigm that changes “rules of engagement” of how we interact with our clients, customers, peers, partners, competitors, etc. Regardless of whether you are the consumer, manufacturer, or service provider these concepts shift the “how”, “where”, and at “what cost” all of what we do is transacted. Connecting all the dots into a synergistic platform of services is the process that is percolating within me. It is both the challenge (or question) and the solution (answer) that will allow us to stay ahead of the titanic wave of technological innovation that is the only constant in this world (as referenced in the YouTube video “Did You Know 3.0”).

I hope you enjoyed the reflection, and take the time to consider how these extraneous concepts present significant opportunity for you regardless of your job, profession or passion. Most of all I hope you make it a GREAT day and week!! If you wish to read all the other Monday Morning Mojos written for you, then visit: http://mondaymojo.blogspot.com. As always, I welcome and encourage your feedback and your reflections (please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me). If I can be of service to you or your friends, please let me know. And, thank you for your continued support and inspiration … each of you are a cherished gift that enriches my life in ways you will never understand … Thank you!! Jim Peys